The STORY as related by an authentic DURBANite

One time, couple span jares ago, der was dis one member rite. N e way, dis oke was like one top o xse ! This bra yer had one lukka vrou too rite. Was his ballies favourite lity too. But his ballie was an operator also rite, this ballie had 4 vrous xse ! He had one lity from each vrou too.

His one vrou chune the ballie he must send this bra away for 14 years Other wise there will be speeches with him and her rite.

The ballie chune orite sharp. He chune this bra he mus vy way from the porsie. But his one lity bru chune, what like dat xse, he want to vy too.

So this bra, his vrou and his lity bru chune kick it.

Now they were blying in a different section and this one porridge o gangster check this bra vrou. He chune she is lukka and he wants her.

You knor how these porridge o get when they see bread stekkies. – Ha ha ha!

This ganster o too had nor style so he tried to hash this bras vrou man!

This bra and his bru chune what kind xse! You karn dalla a move ladat! you knor who we are xse ? I chop you one time!

They vied met up with one two other bras and vied to optel the Porridge o’s!

They vied xse, klapped the porridge o’s solid ! Porridge o nevr knew what hit them ! These brus and their other braedo bra’s hit these okes once, they fell twice xse !

N e way after the speeches this bra, his vrou and bru chune vy porsie !

All the other bread o were so happy that the porridge okes gort klapped,

They chune they must have one jol!

Big jol they had xse, fireworks burfee, chuna magaj the works xse!

After that every year the okes have the same jol. They call it diwali xse!

The porridge okes were klapped so bad that they were still seeing stars the next day bra, so that’s why they have diwali one day later. Vaarheid!!

For those of you who didnt understand a word of above, here is the English version :

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was this guy from North India.. This guy was like an important person.. He had a very beautiful wife also.. This guy was his dad’s favourite son too.. His father was like a Casanova and had 4 wives and had a son from each of his 4 wives.. 

Now one of his wives said to the father that he must send his favourite son away for 14 years otherwise there will be a serious argument between her and the father.. So the father says ok and asks the son to go away for 14 years.. Now the younger brother of this guy says he wants to go away with him as well.. So this guy, his beautiful wife and younger brother go away for 14 years..

Now they are living in a different part of the world and there is a South Indian gangster who sees the wife and wants her.. You know how these South Indian guys go for these North Indian girls.. This gangster has no finesse or style so he just kidnaps the wife..

The north indian guy and his brother say , how can you make a move like this, you dont know about us, we will chop you fully..

They then gather a couple of other north indian guys and go fight the south indian guy and beat him up nice .. They slapped the south indian guy so hard, he didnt know what hit him.. The north indian guy and his friends hit the south indians once and they fell down twice.. Anyway after a couple of speeches the north indian and his wife go back home..

So now all the north indians are happy that they won and they want to celebrate this event and they have a big party.. They have fireworks, burfee, channa magaj (all north indian sweets) etc.. So every year they have this celebration and called it DIWALI..

The south indians were beaten so badly that they were still seeing stars the next day and so thats why they celebrate Diwali the day after the north indians..

Filed under Category: Uncategorized and Tags: deepavali, diwali, durban, festival, india, language, north indians, south indians by manaadiar || Date : 8th October 2008 ||